Life in the Jump Seat
It really doesn’t matter what phase or season of parenting you are in; the reality of jump-seat living is simply part of the journey. Do you have a little one heading to kindergarten for the first time? Maybe a child stepping into middle school, high school, college, marriage, or one of the million other firsts and lasts in between? Every new season brings new opportunities, challenges, and goals, so we brace ourselves. Parents hold on while we let go.
That may sound like a contradiction, but I believe holding on while letting go is what gives us both the courage and strength to watch our young birds fly. We hold tightly to God and His promises while taking a step back, trusting that He has a good plan for His children and for the season ahead.
We resist helicopter parenting and the temptation to constantly hover over our kids because those blades can become dangerous when our children begin taking personal responsibility and learn to rise on their own. Picture, for a moment, your child finding the courage to take ownership of his or her life and bravely stepping into the unknown. They are ready to rise, but instead they are met with the swirling blades and forceful winds of our fear—their wings not yet strong enough to push through the pressure.
Did you know helicopters are not naturally aerodynamic? They fly by sheer force. They are called “choppers” for a reason.
Wonder if we shifted our perspective so that we could parent from faith rather than fear? Maybe we would coin a new term. Instead of helicopter parenting, we would embrace jump-seat living. We would live alongside our children rather than hovering over them for eighteen frantic years, preparing them for what lies ahead.
Think about a flight attendant on an airplane. They know the destination, understand how the plane operates, recognize what supplies are available, and clearly communicate the behavior expected during the flight. With calm confidence, they establish boundaries and routines. Then, after doing their part, they pull down the jump seat and sit.
They are aware and available, but they allow the flight to unfold within the boundaries already established. They are present when needed and positioned appropriately for emergencies, but they are not pacing the aisle, hovering over every passenger’s every move.
I am personally wading through so many transitions in my own family right now. SO MANY UNKNOWNS. As I write this today, I find myself looking in the rearview mirror, recognizing the value of a jump seat—and a seatbelt.
Our children have one Savior: Jesus Christ. Our hope is in Him. We do not have to ask Him to “take the wheel”; He already has it. We can trust Him in every age and stage. And if we do not trust Him, we risk teaching our children that He is not trustworthy.
So, let’s land the choppers and take a seat as we let go and let God. Begin your days with eyes fixed on possibility and hearts full of expectation. Let those babies flap their wings and rise. Hold on to God while letting go for the ride.
Family Resources
Every new season means letting go just a little bit more for parents. As we turn the corner and enter the 2nd half of summer, let’s step back from helicopter parenting and consider what it means to hold on while letting go.
For Younger Kids:
Free Time: Create a gratitude or prayer journal. Cut out words or images from magazines for creativity!
Fun Time: Paint rocks and hide them around the neighborhood for others to find.
Learn Time: Take an online art class!
Love Time: FaceTime your grandparents or loved ones and ask them how they are. Tell them something fun or exciting about your summer!
For Older Kids:
Talk Time: The Informed Parent episode: Digital Wellness for Your Children
For The Family:
Team Time: Plan a family service project and go for it!
Parent Resources: The Informed Parent episode: The Well-Lit Home
For more from Suzanne Phillips and Beacon Parent, check out:
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